First Blog

  Advice, Bad Advice, and Damned Advice Don Allen   Everyone gives advice, and almost everyone takes it now and then. Advice, though, is inherently incoherent, inconsistent, and inaccurate.   Now and then, it can be critical. But even the stingiest, coldest, or most loving of us give it freely. A glossary follows but first consider a few examples.   ·         When you take advice, are you substituting another’s thinking for your own? ·         Sometimes I wish I followed my own advice. But nooooo! I took someone else’s advice. Wrong. ·         When you give advice and someone takes it, then are you not somewhat responsible for outcomes? ·         There have been times I rejected good advice because I didn’t like who was giving it. ·         Companies call in consultants to give advice, but the consultants seldom know the fine points of the business they are advising. People call in psychologists for the same reasons. ·         Ministers and priests are always giving

  As social people, we love to give advice. “You should do this.” “You shouldn’t do that.” “The prof’s an easy grader. Just study the worksheet.” “You should buy that car.” But do you ever know all the facts? Do you see only a simplified situation with essential facts removed? Is your friend asking for advice or asking for hope? There’s a difference.   Hope is the meta-fuel of well-being, giving comfort and peace in times of distress. Is your friend asking for the advice they want to hear? For something they’ve considered but needs confirmation? For a go-sign? We, the advice-givers, all too often venture into homespun psychology. Not good, mostly because we don’t know any. Among the biggest advice-givers are friends, parents, pastors, and teachers. For younger persons, parental advice is often rejected, but the other three are on the spot.   Because, if they give advice, they must accept some responsibility if it is accepted. The pastor hopefully limits advice to simple homilies o

Found on the classroom board one morning last week....   Advice from heaven: Do what you want to do. Advice from earth: Do what you can do. Advice from middle-earth: Be open to possibilities. So… Where do you live? When you figure this one out, you're on your way.

You have personal problems; I have personal problems. In some cases, the “we” have problems. Secular personal problems have difficulties all their own. How do you solve them, or where do you get help?   Aside from medication, which ultimately fails long term, four solution methods are available.   For problems related to health or work, other methods are used. A.     (Reverberation model). Two friends meet to discuss problems.   Both talk continuously about their personal problems and talk over the other, with hardly a murmur about the other.   Yet, each nods, smiles, or frowns as appropriate.   During the cacophony of chatter, each has the illusion of giving help.   Such pairs are usually self-absorbed to the point they are scarcely aware of the other. Who knows if any problem is solved, but just talking them through often helps. B.     (Sounding Board model). Here we have the one explaining problems to the other, with only a nod or head shake are needed.   This person

The most common advice I’ve ever heard about achieving, from books to sports, from beliefs to politics, from love to marriage, and on and on, is this:   “ Never give up .”    Sometimes, we hear “never, ever, give up.” Winston Churchill is famous for this quote, but it is no doubt common over all of time, in every place, and for almost all endeavors. The undertow is persistence.   Never underestimate the value of persistence.

The Police.   There is a strong movement toward which all police officers must wear body cameras.   The claim is that not only will such cameras deter abuse and other conflagrations of the law, but will document the officer’s daily activities.   The camera will create a log of all activities of this officer, and this is becomes a part of the officer’s permanent file.    A few consequences on the pro side include Documentation of abusive actions of the officer.  Clarification of charges made by the officer or by the perpetrator. A strict adherence by the officer to written procedures. These sound like a welcome relief to the critics.   And for about 1% of all police officers, it means that the tendency to abuse must be curtailed.   This sounds good.   However, there is a con side to this. 1.        As mentioned above, the officer’s permanent file containing all encounters will reveal all mistakes made, and there will be these.   2.        The camera will make the o