First Blog

  Advice, Bad Advice, and Damned Advice Don Allen   Everyone gives advice, and almost everyone takes it now and then. Advice, though, is inherently incoherent, inconsistent, and inaccurate.   Now and then, it can be critical. But even the stingiest, coldest, or most loving of us give it freely. A glossary follows but first consider a few examples.   ·         When you take advice, are you substituting another’s thinking for your own? ·         Sometimes I wish I followed my own advice. But nooooo! I took someone else’s advice. Wrong. ·         When you give advice and someone takes it, then are you not somewhat responsible for outcomes? ·         There have been times I rejected good advice because I didn’t like who was giving it. ·         Companies call in consultants to give advice, but the consultants seldom know the fine points of the business they are advising. People call in psychologists for the same reasons. ·         Ministers and priests are always giving

You have personal problems; I have personal problems. In some cases, the “we” have problems. Secular personal problems have difficulties all their own. How do you solve them, or where do you get help?   Aside from medication, which ultimately fails long term, four solution methods are available.   For problems related to health or work, other methods are used. A.     (Reverberation model). Two friends meet to discuss problems.   Both talk continuously about their personal problems and talk over the other, with hardly a murmur about the other.   Yet, each nods, smiles, or frowns as appropriate.   During the cacophony of chatter, each has the illusion of giving help.   Such pairs are usually self-absorbed to the point they are scarcely aware of the other. Who knows if any problem is solved, but just talking them through often helps. B.     (Sounding Board model). Here we have the one explaining problems to the other, with only a nod or head shake are needed.   This person