First Blog

Forgive or  Forget? All of us are hurt, injured, or harmed by others in some way.   The teachings of some religions are to forgive your transgressor and move on.   If you can do this you’re lucky.   Many cannot, no matter how much hard they try.   The best alternative is to forget .   This is not easy if you are the type who dwells on the injury.   The best method is to forget by subjugation.   This means don’t dwell, but rather keep engaged in living, continually filling your mind with new “stuff.”   By and by, the injury slides to the back-burner, and then, hopefully, off the stove.   Forgive?   Forget? Two pathways toward peace of mind.   The third pathway of vengeance or pay-back is another, though usually not the wisest choice.   Trick question: Can you forgive but never forget?   Well, yes and no.   We better get the psychologist, clergyman, or counselor in on this one. Our court systems offer all three.   Payback to the criminal is prison or a fine.   Th

Can you forgive?  It's not easy, you might agree.  If you wish to read a good article on forgiveness, please see   https://theunboundedspirit.com/forgive/ This article emphasizes that forgiveness requires strength, love, wisdom, and an open heart. My response.  While forgiveness requires energy as the article posits, failure to forgive implies maintaining a "resident" animus. This requires even more energy. It requires an action in life, an interrupt in daily living, and a vigil against intersection.  It requires the maintenance of a catalog of transgressions.  It loads the mind and soul with unneeded baggage. To be unforgiving and hateful both are a burden. I have found that of the binary possibilities, "forgive and forget,"  to  forget  is the easier.  Not up to the activity of forgiving, it relaxes energy requirements on the system and calms the mind. In a way, it resets a relation with only a small "black flag" attached. I use it a lot