To Lie or Not To Lie - that is a question

 To Lie or Not to Lie

Lying to another is one thing; lying to yourself is quite another.

We all lie, each and every one of us. We exclude a large class of lies, those unintentional. These are just poor information exchanges. Mostly, lies are for the good, such as when we tell someone how good they look or to our kids to smooth their fears or questions. The boss lies to the employee, often to enhance performance. Teachers lie to students all the time about how well they do. The coach lies when all is lost. Some lies, like these, are acceptable. They are mostly intentional and often meant to protect in some way. The other types, also intentional, are deceptive, deceitful, and meant to harm or achieve some goal such as confusion. Politicians specialize in these, for good or bad.  Yet, there is a middle ground, such as the self-lie.

Some of us live by maxims offered by famous luminaries, past and present. Yet, it is upon us to understand just what is correct, actionable, and sensible. Let’s consider the lie from just two perspectives, one from Fyodor Doytoesvsky and the other from Thomas A. Edison.

For Adults. Let’s begin with the maxim from Fyodor Dostoevsky, Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love. This lofty admonition sounds almost Utopian, with dire consequences for violation. The self-lie is clearly wrong.

For Us All. We have “The Little Engine That Could,” a story used to teach children the value of optimism and hard work. This means to try hard regardless of doubt, also to be viewed as a possible self-lie. Dostoevsky instructs us not to, but most of us do try. Does this mean we lie to ourselves?

Yet, from another past luminary, Thomas A. Edison, we have, “If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.” What Edison is saying is we don’t know until we try. Hence, the lie can be good. Are we not all challenged to try to achieve more to accomplish things we doubt are possible? So, do we lie to ourselves that we can?

The Dostoevsky-Edison Paradox. The lie is bad, but the lie is good. In other words, if you don’t know what you can do, and then try, are you not lying to yourself or are you trying to find your limits?

The moral. Be careful about applying your maxims. The best of them have multiple interpretations. That’s what makes them so popular. Everyone can relate – in their own way