Fake Meat – Science at Warp Speed

Fake meat has stormed the country.  Many celebrate the vegetable protein based products for climate, for nutrition, and for reduction of meat consumption.  The beef industry clearly hates this, and only now are developing their talking points.

Testing to scale always reveals the nooks and crannies of risk. So, what’s coming for fake meat?  Here’s the shortlist.

• Too much sodium –  the old standby
• Variety – more and more variations of fake meat will be developed.  Expect less expensive products using more plentiful vegetable proteins.
• Chemistry – what new chemicals are used; what old chemicals are used to excess; how do these chemicals interact?
• Allergies – it is a certainty that allergies will be discovered supporting unusual affectations
• Headaches – every new item on the menu causes headaches in many.  They’re coming.
• Digestion problems – many, probably thousands will endure digestive problems due to overconsumption.
• Cancer – certain digestive tract cancers will be correlated with fake meat consumption.
• Hybrids – clearly some grocers will combine the fake with the real, and who on earth knows how they will interact. Needing a name: semi-fake meat, mostly meat, …?
• DYI – soon we’ll see recipes for home-brew fake meats. E.g. two cups crushed soy beans, two tbs Worcester, 3tbs salt, 1 clove garlic, ¼ cup liquid smoke, …

Within a year, we will see the first expose of why it’s bad, or maybe why it’s good. Science is slow and often grossly inaccurate. But it gets there. In the meantime, we’ll have fake fish, fake chicken, and fake pork.  Watch out on the latter.  China may not need USA pork imports anymore, just more soybeans. Yes, international trade will also be affected. Try fake meat on 1.4 billion folks, and you’ll see it all.

Within two years, we’ll see regulations aplenty, consumption guidelines aplenty, and cautionary labels on all packaging.

Attention:

• Nutritionists: design your tests and get your grant proposals ready
• Doctors: get ready for strange new problems
• Professors: there’s a book in all this, plus grants, plus conference talks.
• ER docs: get ready for unexplained anaphylactic shock cases; tune up those stomach pumps
• Hospitals: get your lawyers involved.

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P.S. I’ve tried the meatless burger. It’s ok. It’s taste is comparable with the real thing, but not quite. But with catsup and condiments applied generously, you can’t tell the difference. Order with fries.